I have been an open homosexual since my first year of high school. Coming out in the south wasn't easy but i always seemed to make a way with the support from my friends who never left my side. I am young but eager to show my true colors and share my story with anyone who cares to listen. (Posted on 10/4/11)

In brief, I was a French-speaking kid sent to an English high school in 1961 -- Westmount High in Montreal, Quebec. From the first days in that school, I was called FROG (an anti-Quebecois slur because I spoke English with a strong French accent) and also FAIRY, FAG and QUEER. The latter were attacks from the boys because I did not follow the hyper-masculine stereotypes: I loved (and still love) poetry, ballet, chamber music, art -- but not competitive sports, shooting things, or looking down at girls. The persecution included social exclusion, physical attacks and constant sneers. I grew up feeling a bond with everyone who is persecuted: for example, I'm a member of the NAACP, the NOW and HRC. Since 1988, my beloved wife and I have marched in Gay Pride parades _every single year_ to support equality and justice for all and in solidarity with one of our dearest friends who came out to us in 1988.

One of the odder moments occurred when our friends wrote that she "hoped we would still be friends" now that she had come out as a Lesbian -- and my wife and I looked at each other in sincere puzzlement over what that could possibly mean. Why wouldn't we continue to love her as we always had, we wondered.<smile>

Never give up: together, we will win this battle of cultural change through our collective intelligence, compassion, determination, and courage.


Best wishes to all,

Mich Kabay (Posted on 7/18/11)

My Coming Out Story

Realizing I was gay at the age of 11 in early 1960's rural America terrorized me and thus at that time I 'choose' at to be straight. While growing up and hiding within myself, I dated girls exclusively and eventually married my college sorority sweetheart. Deep denial is apparently a very powerful psychiatric coping mechanism.

During the 34 years of our marriage, my imprisoned feelings only grew more intense. At the age of 56, emotionally exhausted and no longer wanting to age beyond my real sexuality, I needed a change. Meeting my life-partner, Clarence, in 2006 and falling deeply in love with him gave me the pride and courage that I needed to walk away from my own self-imposed closet.

First I talked with my wife, then with a therapist and then with a series of very close friends. With each new step it was obvious that my darkest fears where delusions. Almost everyone put my life's efforts and changes into perspective, intuitively understanding that being gay and coming out is not a casual thing. I came out to my family in the summer of 2010 in the form of a seven page letter. It was an excellent format through which to break the news because it avoided confrontation and pressure for immediate reactions. It gave people time to think and talk it through.

Then in late August, one of my fellow anesthesiology-group doctors was loudly and derisively 'outing' me in the hallways of our operating rooms. It was very public, behind my back and I felt that the chips were now down. I could run, hide, deny and apologize OR choose to come all the way, the rest of the way out.

With determination and purpose, I went home, put over 55 email addresses in the "To:" line of the email form and then attached my seven page coming out letter sent earlier to my family. My thought: 'If you're gonna talk, talk about the facts. So here's the facts.' As I hit the 'send' key I was prepared to give up friends, career, reputation, all of it for a greater truth and my own sense of dignity. Not willing to take crap anymore, and not knowing or caring what the reaction would be, I held my breath and spam-outed myself.

Within minutes the return emails ended a lifetime of fear and pain. My doctor-partners and friends wrote beautiful email responses and were hugging me in the hallways the next day. The general response was beautifully reassuring that we as humans respect and honor the truth. There were unpredictable losses, to be sure, but in the end, I felt so very much reborn into a real life. Its an amazingly powerful, life confirming, maturing process and I am so very proud to be gay. Thank you, Clarence, for helping get me there. Forever and a day, Babe.

Sincerely,

Rick Bushnell, MD
Pasadena, Ca.
(Posted on 6/4/11)

Superior thinking demonstrated above. Thanks! (Posted on 4/28/11)

AFAIC that's the best answer so far! (Posted on 4/28/11)

My Name Is Jay I Am A 31yr Old Lesbian From Rochester New York. I Had First Came Out When I Was 13 But Not To My Family. I Had Been Raised In A Catholic Family. I Always Knew & Felt That I Was A Lesbian But Was Scared To Come Out To My Family. I Had Gotten Into Many Fights With My Peers I Was Called A Dyke, A Homo & Even A Fagot & So Growing Up Made My Life Very Difficult. I Continued To Stand Up For Who I Am And Still Do Till This Day Although It Is A Little Easier Being A Lesbian Now. Then It Was Back When I Was Younger i Still Have Problems. I Get Stared At Because Of The Way That I Look, I Get Laughed At, Ppl Curse At Me & Even A Family Member Does Not Want There Child Around Me. I Guess They Think Cuz im gay that i may try to touch there child or i have a disease it makes me sick because i am not that kind of person. i am a human being just like every one else i know that this story may not make sense but its random bits and pieces of my life. Im Highly upset that i can not get legally married in new york state WHY NOT we as people who pay taxes do not feel that we should pay for politics to make our lives hell we should have rights just like straight ppl ive been with my girlfriend 2yrs and we want to get married
(Posted on 4/6/11)